Happy Birthday
by ramonesroxx
Summary: A what if scenario of the episode when Tobias went to check on drunken Olivia on her birthday, who was sleeping her hangover off but thought that she heared Gregory talk to her. What if he would have let her know who he really was? How would she have reacted?


"Gregory?" She moans my name forcing her eyes open just to look into Tobias' face. Goddamnit! What the hell were you thinking Gregory?

"It's just me, my dear." I say quick hoping she'll let it be but the frown on her face tells me she senses something despite her hangover.

She stands up slowly, barely able to keep her eyes open, one hand supporting her head. I really don't even want to picture that headache.

"Tobias?" She asks, still unsure.

"That's right dear." I assure her.

"I could have sworn - I heard...he was..." and then she laughs out loud at her own apparent stupidity. If she only knew how right she was.

"It's just me." I say and her laugh turns into another frown. She looks at me deeply as if trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with this picture. Could it be that drunken Olivia sees something that sober Olivia can't?

"There - there is something terribly wrong with you Tobias..." she says and I feel the blood freezing in my system.

"I'm sorry my dear, I don't think I know what you mean." I try to play the fool. She's drunk and I know nobody would believe a word she's saying anyway. But throughout my career as an attorney, I learned that drunk people usually speak their mind and say the truth. Their sometimes twisted truth but the truth nonetheless.

"I'm not sure I know what I mean either." She laughs tortured and rolls her eyes. "All I know is that there is something about you...something weird." She gesticulates in my direction. God she's never been this loose before. This is a new low, even for her.

"My dear -" I try again but she cuts in.

"No! Don't Tobias!" I can't follow anymore. Instead of trying to change the subject or pretend not to understand her, I keep quiet and wait for her to speak up. I can't lose the feeling that coming to her room to comfort her was a very wrong turn, but I had to. I had to see her. I had to make sure she's fine. It's her birthday today, it should be a special day. She should be happy, she should be at peace. She should...

Why the hell did I come up here, why did I have to talk to her? Because it's what I've done my entire life. The feeling that overcomes me every time she needs protection is stronger than my reason. I thought it would go away in time but it's gotten worse.

"Don't look at me like that!" She says all of the sudden, ripping me out of my worries.

"I'm, I'm not."

"Oh I know that look on your face! Gosh - must be the dna! It's like looking into -" she pauses and her eyes fill instantly.

"Olivia?" I see her trying to pull herself together.

"That same pitiful look he threw at me every damned time! He loathed this side of me. He hated me when I was like this. Are you happy now? Are you?" She shouts at the ceiling. Does she really think I would have ended up in heaven?

"Olivia..." I try but she's raging.

"It's what he always said: I was nothing before we met and I would end up being nothing without him. Are you happy that you were right?" Her shouting turns into sobbing as she curls herself around the blanket I tucked her in with a few minutes ago. She really thinks I wished this for her. She really thinks, no I - I made her believe it. I treated her this way and made her believe it.

"Li -" damnit! I can't use her nickname. Have I completely lost my mind? There was only one person in this whole world to call her that. One. Not even her parents, not even her friends, not any other lover, just - me. It was my way of calling her, it was my name for her. It was my way of showing her that I loved her. I called her "Liv".

"What were you going to say?" She stopped sobbing and looked at me again with a deep frown.

"I - I - I wanted to - to ah, ask you to lie down. Lie, yes lie down." Absolutely pathetic.

"No...no. You wanted to say something else..." she doesn't believe it. She heard the intonation, she knew the missing letter was not an "e" but a "v". Even in her drunken state, she knew it.

"I'm afraid not my dear. Now come on, lie down and rest. You need to get better. It's your birthday today after all." I say something, anything to get her mind off the real me.

"My birthday..." she lets out, "you know, when I was little, it used to always rain on my birthday, in London. It was such a sad day. Every year, rain in November. You could've set the clock after it. On Olivia's birthday it rains." I listen carefully happy she let go of "me". "When I was fourteen I told my mother this had to be a bad omen. I said I was cursed. It didn't rain a day before, nor a day after. But it rained exactly on my birthday. She said I'm exaggerating, it rains all the time in November." She imitates her mothers voice and I cant help laughing. She did this uncountable times before, imitating things her mother told her with a high pitched voice and an exaggerated British accent that she herself lost throughout the years. "But I think I was right Tobias." She's serious again.

"You know what I think? I think your mother was right, it always rains in London in November dear. What about your birthdays ever since you moved to California?"

"I think they were just pretense."

„Pretense?"

„Pretense." she repeats. „I thought I had tricked faith. I thought I had it all. Everything. Everything and sun on my birthdays." She's painfully aware of what she's saying. As am I. To anyone else this conversation wouldn't make any sense but I know what she means and I know the sense of this. She thought with me, she had it all. The sun, happiness. Everything. A beautiful life.

„You did have it all..." I can't help it. For Gods sake if this will make her stop drinking then I have to tell her. Or let her know somehow. „You still have it all. You still do." I watch her close her eyes.

„I have nothing. Absolutely nothing. And it's just a matter of time until even you will realize this and get the same opinion your nephew used to have. You don't know me Tobias... I'm not worth it. You know what?" She turns to me again, "you should just, just sign those papers and make Annie executrix."

"What?!" I shout and she again looks at me with a big frown. "How can you even say that?"

"There really is something about you...you're just like...him." She reaches out for my face but I pull away.

"Olivia! What the hell do you mean make Annie executrix? What about Trey?!"

"Trey..."

"Yes dammit Trey! Did you forget about him?"

"No, how could I? But he isn't Gregory's son... it's ...too late..."

"He is, Liv! Its not too late!" I squeeze my eyes shut realizing what I just said. I let it slip. I called her Liv. I called Trey my son.

"Wha - what did you just call me?"

"I - I ..." if I tell her who I am she'll have a shock and this could backfire worse than I can imagine.

"You..." she stands up and touches my face, feels around the edges of my chin. I close my eyes and let her explore my face, I don't see any point in denying her this anymore. It's too late, I've showed her and told her enough already. I want her to know. She caresses my cheek trough the fake beard and sighs like she's realizing something doesn't add up. Her fingertips reach the outer corners of my left eye as she feels over the fine wrinkles and looks intensely at them. She takes her other hand and feels over my right eye as well. She lets a sigh out. Shock.

"My God..."

I open my eyes and watch her tilt her head staring into my irises. I stare into hers, deep pools of ocean blue, stormy oceans. She's losing it slowly. Her hands grab my face completely, rubbing it and grabbing the flesh she can't believe she didn't recognize by now.

All I can do is stare stupidly and smile her way. She smiles back, let's a laugh out between tears. I see she doesn't trust her own instinct since she doubts this badly, drunken Olivia realizing something sober Olivia couldn't or didn't want to see.

I can't torture her like this any longer. She might hate me for what I did to her since our divorce, she might even hate me for letting her believe I was dead but...I want her to be happy, I want to give her this birthday present. I want to give her peace. She starts laughing between sobs as she realizes who I really am and comes closer. Her thumbs feeling over my forehead, moving along the skin she kissed a million times throughout the years. I close my eyes again and lean forward. Her hands grab my face again, her forehead resting on mine as she continues to doubt what's going on. I feel her insecurity.

"Liv" It's all I seem to be able to say, this time, using my real voice on purpose. She shivers at the three letter word and looks at me, her face completely wet.

"Gregory!" My name sounds like a prayer, like a chant out of some magic book.

"Yes." I can't help the tremor in my voice. I never pictured this to be so hard on me. I never pictured so many emotions to still live inside me, waiting to burst out.

Her only reaction is a kiss. A frightened but furious kiss. And I respond completely in trance. She pauses but keeps coming back, she kisses my cheeks, my forehead, my eyes, not letting go of my face for a second. I can feel she's changed completely, the shock probably forcing her out of her hangover sooner than we'd both expected.

I grab her neck and the back of her head pulling her into a passionate kiss that I realize just now how much I missed since our last bittersweet encounter. I taste her tears, salty drops fallen from the depths of the ocean in her eyes. I want to kiss them away. She's laughing repeating my name in careful whispers.

I grab her shoulders forcing myself closer to her, the blood in my head pumping so loud that I fear I might suffer a stroke, my ears enduring a pressure I don't know to have ever had. I never pictured this to be like this, I was so mad at her. I wanted to be mad at her. I wanted to hate her. I tried to hate her. I love her.

"You filthy bitch!" Annie's shrill voice invades Olivia's bedroom as the door slams agains the wall and forces the pictures hanging to shake out of place.

Olivia is shocked and leads her hands to her mouth. I lower my head having to acknowledge what this must look like...Olivia being the bitch Annie is certain she is, seducing her dear uncle Tobias for the money.

"You goddamned filthy bitch! I knew it! I knew you would resort to the only thing you can use to get what you want! God! Tobias!" She addresses me and grabs my arm. "Don't let her bewitch you! It's what she's done to my father, to AJ, to your nephew, don't let her do this to you! You make me sick Olivia!" She shouts around frantic.

Olivia and I both keep quiet and look at each other, still in shock. I fear Olivia's reaction. I'm not ready to pop out of my costume yet, I haven't finished my plan, I still need to get my life back somehow...

I look her in the eyes and she appears to understand it.

"Oh - oh my! Whatever was I thinking!" I stand up from Olivia's bed and stutter like the old man I pretend I am.

"You bitch! Tobias, are you alright?" Olivia only giggles. "Stop laughing you good for nothing drunken vixen! Tobias, let me get you out of here! You shouldn't let her do this you, you are such an integer man, don't let her stain you with that- look at her laughing Tobias! She's so drunk she doesn't even know what she's doing!" Annie goes on "rescuing" me from bad drunken Olivia and I have to fight myself not to laugh out loud. I turn around for a second and look at Olivia who smiles my way. Her eyes are happy, a spark of hope that I hadn't seen in her eyes for such a long time was there again. She's got it all again. Her beautiful sunny birthday... I can't help smiling back, my eyes telling her I won't be gone too long. I'll be back for her. I'll come back, as myself, without the beard, without the fake nose and teeth, I will come back and give her the birthday present she truly wants.

"Come on Tobias! Let's get you out the witches lair! Keep your dirty hands off him, you hear me!" Annie shouts and slams the door shut behind her.

"Uncle Tobias, are you okay?" Oh her worried act deserves an Oscar indeed.

"I - I'm fine dear, just v-very confused. I'm, I'm so embarrassed!"

"Well you shouldn't be! It's all her fault! You poor, poor man. Do you see now what I'm talking about? You can't trust her! You can't be near her! She's the devil!"

"I am so so embarrassed Annie dear! Thank you, thank you so much!" I play my role exceptionally too. "I think I need to lie down and go to sleep. It's been such a long and terrifying day!"

"Yes! Please do rest. Do you want me to stay with you? Is there anything you need?" For gods sake Annie!

"No, I'm fine. Thank you again Annie dear. You saved me, thank you! I will certainly remember this courageous act!" I say and know she'll be happy for no reason but at least this will keep her reassured and off my back.

"Good night uncle Tobias!"

"Good night dear." I say and leave to my room.

I close the door behind me and sigh deeply. I feel like thanking God for getting away with this so easily. I need to be more careful from now on. But Olivia knows now. Will she remember this? I need to make sure, I need to see her again! I start taking my costume off and head for the shower.

* * *

I look at my alarm clock saying it's a quarter to twelve. The house is silent and dark, everybody asleep, the chirping crickets the only sound outside filling the silence.

The past two hours have been torture to me. Two doors and an elegant hallway parting me from the subject of my worried mind. What have I done? Was it the right thing to do, to tell her I was alive? Will she ruin everything now? I can't go to prison and I can't let my life slip trough my fingers. For whatever reason, God gave me a second chance. I could have drowned, I could have but I didn't. It makes me certain that my life, my work here wasn't over yet. My family needed me. And I already lost enough.

Annie came back to my room two times in the past two hours, checking up on me. Rather checking up if I'm "safe" from Olivia. Rather checking if what she thinks will soon be her money is safe. I took her damned tea and the damned toast from her, putting the most charming of smiles I could come up with. She would never understand this. She couldn't, how? I'm not sure I understand this myself.

I have to acknowledge that the feelings I've been trying to suppress since last year were overwhelming me more than I thought. I was able to play them down long enough but today - something happened today that made it impossible for me to keep shut any longer.

Her birthday.

I wonder if Olivia is sleeping or if she's awake too, thinking about me and what happened earlier. Did she really realize it was me or was she too drunk to remember? I can't stay away, I need to know.

I need to know what happened to this woman. The woman I've got to know - as if from scratch - in the past few weeks. The woman I thought I knew inside out turned out to be so different. How could I ever think so little of her? She has pulled herself together for the sake of the children, she's trying hard to keep what's left of this family together. She's strong and sincere, and sweet and caring. I know it's not just an act although she is interested in my will. But unlike Annie, she's not thinking about herself but about the children. She probably couldn't find peace if she knew that our lifetimes work would land in Annie's hands.

The way she manages to pull this off so elegantly makes me proud. But something changed since yesterday. Something went terribly wrong and she turned to the bottle again. I always knew she's a tortured soul. But this, this is different.

What the hell happened to her?

I stand up from my bed and head for the door. I feel my feet taking me to her door as I look around. I am completely out of my mask and with no protection whatsoever. If anyone sees me, that's it!

I turn the doorknob slowly and peak inside, dim lights barely allowing me to see anything. But I see her perfectly, the elegant and imposing posture I'm used to.

She sits on the little chair of her vanity and brushes her thick dark curls without as much as turning around while hearing me close the door. Is she frightened to turn around and see me?

"Liv..." I whisper carefully afraid of her reaction.

She puts her hairbrush down slowly and turns around. By the time she faces me fully, her eyes are again filled with tears. I walk up to her and stop a few feet away because she takes a few steps back. She's afraid. Or mad. Or both.

"Gregory, how? Why..."

"Let me explain. Please don't..." I reach my hand for her begging her not to run from me.

"How could you do this to me?" She cries.

God, indeed how could I? I watch her shivering in that beautiful peach silk nightgown, a matching robe covering her bare shoulders as she folds her arms together. I don't remember seeing her in this before and it strikes me to think of how much I've missed, how many details I don't know about anymore.

I decide to force her to listen to me as I walk up to her, not giving her the chance to back off again. I grab her and sit her down on the edge of the bed as she only looks confused and awfully lost, afraid to look at me.

"Listen to me! I wanted to tell you, I swear I wanted to tell you eventually."

"But, but why? Why are you doing this to your family? We grieved for you! I..." She cries and all I can do is throw my arms around her. She rests her head on my chest and cries while I squeeze her tight.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Liv!"

Her soft sobs become desperate and she throws her arms around me.

"A part of me died that day, the day I thought you..." she confesses as I dig my face into her hair.

She smells divine. She feels divine, soft and delicate. All I seem to be able to do is squeeze her because I had let her slip away from me far too long. She parts from my embrace and looks at me frightened and happy altogether. Her hands grab my face again, the way she did a few hours ago, this time feeling my real skin, running her fingers over my freshly shaved face, feeling over the bridge of my nose, caressing the wrinkles and lines of my eyes, going trough my own hair with her fingers.

"It's me. I'm here, I am and I'm not going anywhere." I assure her as she smiles.

She looks like a seraphim with that angelic face, her eyes pure, mirroring the Elysian Fields I have missed getting lost into. I can't help but kiss her but she's not responding because she's frightened, pulling her hands to her chest in defense.

"Don't be afraid." I beg her.

"Are you real?" She dares asking. "I'm not imagining...?"

"No. I'm real, I'm here. It's me." I cup her face just as she had cupped mine and feel the fine lines of her jaw as she tilts her head back. She must have missed this too much to be put in words. I feel her giving in to my touch as I direct her face to mine and place a kiss on her parted lips.

She comes closer and holds my hands with hers, we are both one inch away from insanity. She's not letting go. I'm not letting go.

Whatever we did with our lives in the past, however far we drifted apart, tonight we came back to the only haven we knew we could and wanted to return to. The lights in the lighthouse were still on, calling us, asking us to find our way back home, back to each other.

"I am sorry Liv. I am!" I keep repeating as if the words would gain more meaning if I do.

"I'm sorry too! For everything! I missed you!"

"I love you!"

"Don't ever leave again!"

"I'm not going anywhere!"

And we end up doing what we do best: sweet, bitter, furious but honest and passionate lovemaking. The night is embracing us in a veil of darkness as we lie on the bed, our bodies still entangled.

"I didn't get the chance to tell you this yet but...happy birthday, Liv!" I whisper in her ear as she rests her head on my chest exhausted.

She bursts out in a bittersweet laughter and I feel her smile on my skin that is covered in our sweat.

„Birthday..." she mumbles. „I have never thought I could wish for anything anymore. But you..." she pauses and the smile is gone. I turn around to look at her and grab her chin making her look at me.

„You showed me I still had so many wishes..."

I kiss her nose and hug her tight.

We keep silent a few minutes until she stands up to look at her nightstand. Her alarm clock says it's time for me to go. The darkness slowly fades away as the first birds start chirping.

"What are we going to do now Gregory?" I knew she'd ask.

"Olivia, I need you to keep this a secret."

"But? For how long? What do you plan on doing?"

"I don't know yet - I honestly don't."

She sighs and puts her head back on my chest.

"What I do know is that we have to be very careful, especially with Annie."

"Annie..." she scoffs.

"You know shes positive you're trying to seduce the old man and won't let us out of her sight anymore from now on." I chuckle and she can't help but giggle with me.

"This is insane..." she admits.

"Mhm."

"So, when will I see you again?" She asks sheepishly and places a kiss on my cheek.

"Tonight. I promise." I reassure her and grab her just to kiss her again.

"Insane..." she repeats while pushing herself away from me. "We have a lot to talk about Gregory." She stands up and grabs her robe from the floor. Oh brother, I have some serious explaining to do.

I follow her example and put my clothes back on knowing that I have to get back to my room. I don't want to leave her bed, her room, her.

"We do. I promise I will tell you everything. Tonight." I steal a kiss from her before grabbing the doorknob.

"You have to go now." She says but we both know we don't want to part.

How will this work out from now on, I wonder. How am I going to tell her that I still need to take revenge. That I need to play this role to get my life back? But worse: how am I going to explain that she was one of the people I wanted to take revenge on? Wanted but couldn't.

"Tonight." Is all I reply while she smiles giving me another kiss.

I guess I will have to figure it out by tonight.

* * *

Olivia didn't join us for breakfast. I didn't expect her to do so, we haven't shut one eye the entire night. She probably fell asleep eventually after I left. I on the other hand, couldn't sleep. I don't think I'll ever be able to put myself to sleep again from now on, my mind keeps racing, trying to find a solution to this disastrous situation I'm in.

I still can't believe I told her, I still can't believe we made love last night. I understand and acknowledge for the first time in a long time that I'm tired. Tired of hiding, tired of ignoring my feelings and wishes. I want my life back. I never imagined I would even consider it a possibility after everything that's happened but - I want her back. I can't watch her destroy herself like this, I can't! Not after the precious insights she allowed me to get into her soul. Not after getting to know her anew. Not after realizing she hates herself probably more than I have ever tried to hate her.

I bite in the bread bun, slightly handicapped by the fake teeth and struggle to chew while I look out the window and drift deeper in my thoughts.

Being Tobias has taught me more than I ever expected: I learned that all this time, everything I did in an attempt to hurt Olivia, ended up hurting me. Her misery is my misery.

I had to free her from this torture, free myself from this torture, that's why I had to tell her. I wonder if by telling her that I'm alive I managed to do so. Maybe I made things even worse... I made her an accomplice. I would have been prosecuted for murder if I was still alive. And now she's my accomplice because she knows. Damn it!

"Uncle Tobias! Good morning!" Annie seems extremely happy.

"Ah, good morning my dear." I say after clearing my throat.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Very much so." I assure her.

"Good! I'm glad you are. Now we can start our day and head up to the Liberty and get down to business. I mean after what happened last night, there sure isn't a doubt in your mind that Olivia is not fit to handle Gregory's money. Tobias?"

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" I can't even pay attention to her anymore. She's tiring me.

"Oh, Uncle Tobias, I'm sorry I forgot how awful you must feel after what Olivia tried to pull off last night. I'm so happy I was there to help you!" She's exaggerating as usual.

"Annie, I'm sure it was all just a big misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding? No - no you see, this is what Olivia does. It's who she is. She can't be bothered to take anything seriously. She drinks herself into oblivion and makes things worse by the minute. She is throwing herself at you hoping she can trick you into leaving her Gregory's money! She's so despicable, I mean, you could be her father for crying out loud!" Her concern is so fake I could throw up. "But I know you're smarter than this. I trust you and your reason completely Tobias. And I'm sure you'll take all the right decisions concerning Gregory's will." She's positive she's winning. There is no damned will! I wish I could shout it out. Let it all out. The will is a fake, as is my life right now.

"About that -" I pause to look at her, "I think I need more time to decide. The happenings lately, it's - it's unfair to judge Olivia for one slip."

"One slip? Tobias this wasn't a slip it's her, she's an alcoholic. She's a pathetic -"

"That's enough Annie!" Sean enters the dining room furios. "Stop talking like this about my mom!"

"Oh well what do you know. Coming to mommy's rescue. Sean, if you knew what despicable thing mommy dearest tried to pull off last night, you wouldn't be so protective of her. Good thing I was there to save poor uncle Tobias!"

„Annie, as I said, I am going to need more time to decide. Yesterday was certainly a - a weird day and, and Olivia certainly behaved extremely awkward but, child, it was her birthday. She was full of a-anxiety and stress and well, if you ask me, what happened is not that bad." Good, keep it up. Keep Annie off your back. I can't take a decision today as I had promised.

"But uncle Tobias!"

"No buts my dear. I don't see the point in pressuring anything. The will is still going to be there tomorrow. You are going to be there tomorrow." Unluckily, I would like to add, "So there is no problem in waiting a-a couple of few more days. M-maybe even weeks, who knows?"

"Weeks?!" She's losing it.

"Annie get off uncle Tobias' back!" Thank you Sean. "Give him and my mom some space will you? If he need months, years to decide, let him be."

"Sean I don't think you should interfere here," Annie is trying but boy is that Richards coming out of him right now.

"Why not? Oh because you were the one despicable enough to roll in bed with my dad for his cash? Right. Look Annie, I know I wasn't left anything in the will but this is about my mother, my sister and my little brother. So anything going on around here is my business and I'll be damned if I let anyone harm them!" I watch Sean curious and feel somehow proud. "You know what uncle Tobias, maybe you shouldn't decide at all. Maybe my mom and Annie are both unfit to deal with this. Maybe you should just freeze the money on some account until Trey turns 21 and let this whole executor stuff be." Annie is pale and looking like she's about to faint. I love this idea. I understand how much Sean has changed in the past few months. Olivia and I both forced him to grow up and be strong. And he is. He is right.

"Nonsense! Uncle Tobias don't listen to him. He doesn't understand this!" Annie jumps in.

"Well, dear. I don't want to listen to another word about this from any of you!" I say to cut the conversation and head for the front door.

As much as I hate leaving the house right now, I need to get to the Liberty and make sure that AJ mutt isn't trying to get too comfortable in my chair. Annie follows me like a shadow and I grit my fake teeth hating myself for this situation I'm in.


End file.
